Lying Naked

I absolutely don’t give a shit what people think about my art. But I give way, way, way too many shits about what people think of me as a human being. I wish it didn’t, but people knowing I’m a ‘good girl’ consumes me. Deep rooted since childhood. Currently, my dark thoughts centre around the fact that I might appear to be taking advantage of my boss.

Lying Naked is being unwrapped for the first time since 2018. It last left the house to be hung in the National Gallery, for one night, when it reached at shortlist of ten for the Evening Standard Art Prize. I couldn’t afford to get it framed, so I nailed it to a lump of wood. I didn’t win.

It’s emerging from hibernation to be part of a group show at Tension Gallery, where I work three days each week.

The number of artists who contact Ken, the gallery owner, asking for exhibitions is huge. So it seems incredibly unfair for me to have been selected. I can’t handle the favouritism. Ken has asked me many times to show my work, but I’ve always declined. I should’ve said at the start that I couldn’t be a part of this one, but I didn’t, and now everything is organised and I don’t want to mess anyone around by dropping out at this late stage. I won’t be doing it again.

Lying Naked, 2018

Hand-stitched newspaper to cloth

38 x 51cm.

Left to right:

1 The Lion Man of Ulm, thought to be about 40,000 years old. Carved from mammoth ivory and discovered in Germany in 1939. Cut from the London Evening Standard, 6.9.2018. Photo: Oleg Kuchar/ Museum Ulm. Taken from a book review, by Douglas Murray, of ‘Living With The Gods: On Beliefs And Peoples’ by Neil McGregor (Penguin, 2018). Also a Radio 4 series.

‘Pink Pussy Hat’ from the anti-Trump marches. Cut from the London Evening Standard, 4.9.2018. The photographer appears to be uncredited, however, there is a photo of Ian Hislop on the same page credited as J Fernandes/ D Hubbard. Maybe this credit also applies to the hat photo? It was cut from a review, by Melanie McDonagh, of the British Museum exhibition, ‘I Object: Ian Hislop’s Search For Dissent’. I saw this exhibition. Six years later, all I can remember about it was that the hat was displayed in a glass cabinet as if valued, but the knitter was not named. I would’ve almost accepted ‘we tried to find the maker of this piece’, but nothing. It was almost as if it had not occurred to them that someone’s hands had made it. Recently.

Feet of Boris Johnson, London 2012. From that photo when he was on the zipwire with a Union Jack in each hand. Barcroft Media*.

2. Torso of Donald Trump with the arm of his granddaughter, Arabella. Cut from the London Evening Standard, 30.7.2018. Photographer uncredited.

‘Busting out the moves’ legs of Theresa May, Metro 31.8.2018. PA*.

3. Jeanne Hébuterne as Nu couché (sur le côté gauche) by Amedeo Modigliani, 1917. Sold at Sotheby’s in New York for £116m. Cut from the Guardian, 12.5.2018. Article by Rupert Neate. Photo: AFP/Getty*. Additional article by Miranda Bryant, London Evening Standard, 15.5.2018.

Prosthetic leg with leather boot of Frida Kahlo. London Evening Standard, 17.5.2018. Advertisement for ‘Making Herself Up’ exhibition at the V&A. Photo by Javier Hinojosa.

4 Torso of AJ Cook as JJ Jareau (Special Agent Jennifer Jareau) in ‘Criminal Minds’. Cut from the TV schedule page of the London Evening Standard, 29.3.2018. No photo credit.

Legs of Kendall Jenner ‘in feathers’ by designer Rick Owens. Photographer uncredited.

5 Torso of Kim Jong-un on a visit to a teacher training college in Pyongyang. Evening Standard, 17.1.2018. Photographer uncredited.

Skirt and left leg of Serena Williams, U.S. Open, 2018. ‘The 36-year-old wore a dress, designed by Louis Vuitton Men’s Artistic Director Virgil Abloh, as she beat Polish player, Magda Linette, in straight sets’. London Evening Standard, 28.8.2018. Photographer uncredited.

Right leg of Natalie Portman, who ‘transformed herself into a punk for her film Vox Lux, in which she plays a musician called Celeste’. London Evening Standard, 1.3.2018. No photo credit. 

*The photo credits appear as they did in the publication from which the images were cut. For the record, I don't accept the name of a company as the credit for a photograph. There was an actual person behind the camera. If you are that person, or know them, please let me know.

The Audience 2024, Section 1

I have been hand-stitching a newspaper (or other discarded some-such) face each day to record the year, not always successfully, since 2014. This is the 2024 version, obvs. It will take the form of 4 napkins, gifted by my friend Áine, each representing 3 months. This is the first napkin with faces for January, February and March.

Day 1: Julie Hesmondhalgh Metro 31.12.23. Photo: ITV*. As Suzanne Sercombe in 'Mr Bates vs the Post Office', a drama about the outrageous hounding and wrongful prosecution of thousands of subpostmasters between 1999 and 2015. One of the most appalling miscarriages of justice in UK history. Cut from the TV Listing page.

Day 2: Toby Jones Metro 31.12.23. Photo: ITV*. As Alan Bates in 'Mr Bates vs the Post Office'. As above.

Day 3: Claudia Winkleman Metro 31.12.23. Photo: BBC*. Presenter of The Traitors, a BBC TV programme in which the contestants have to figure out who is lying in order to win a huge cash prize.

Day 4: Sarah Lancashire Metro 31.12.23. Photo: Uncredited. Sky?* As Julia Child in Julia, a 'much-loved American chef'. Cut from the TV Listings page. Sky Atlantic.

Day 5: Camila Batmanghelidjh, 1963 - 2024 Evening Standard 3.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Social justice campaigner.

Day 6: Les McCann, 1935 - 2023 Metro 3.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Jazz legend.

Day 7: Luke Littler Metro 4.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. The youngest ever darts player to reach the final of the World Championship, at the age of 16. Phil Haigh is credited as a source in the article.

Day 8: Alan Bates Metro 5.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Letter from Ian, Glasgow, ('Send Us Your Views' Page) about the huge integrity of Alan Bates from Justice For Subpostmasters Alliance.

Day 9: Suresh Damodharan Metro 8.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. A doctor, who has flown from India every Christmas, for the last 11 years, to help the NHS.

Day 10: Gabriel Attal Metro 10.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. France's youngest, and first openly gay, Prime Minister.

Day 11: Maria Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Article by Brooke Davies about the huge miscarriage of justice at the Post Office. The photo is a still, taken from the BBC's Breakfast programme the previous day, when sub-postmasters were sharing their horrific experiences. Maria was one of them. I'm assuming that she didn't want her surname to be broadcast, but said she was from Huddersfield. Her contract was terminated after she paid more than £30,000.

Day 12: Sally Stringer Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Sally ran a small, rural Post Office in Beckford for nearly 20 years. She says, "This is one of the worst miscarriages of justice this country has ever seen." Article as above.

Day 13: Tom Hedges Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Tom ran a Post Office near Skegness. He was there for 16 years until he was dismissed in 2009 and convicted in court in 2010. He says, "It wrecked my life, my family's life and everybody I know." Article as above.

Day 14: Tim Brentnall Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Tim ran a Post Office in Pembrokeshire from 2005, until a shortfall was found in 2009. "I was told that if I didn't repay it, I'd be facing a theft charge. So I raided my savings, my parents' savings, I had to sell my car. And as soon as that was done, I was then charged with false accounting." Article as above.

Day 15: Alison Hall Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Alison ran a Post Office in West Yorkshire. She was suspended in 2010. Article as above.

Day 16: Varchas Patel Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Varchas’ father, whose health is completely shattered, ran a Post Office in Horspath, Oxford, and was wrongfully prosecuted in 2011. Article as above.

Day 17: Parmod Kalia Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Parmod paid the Post Office £22,000, was jailed for 6 months, shunned by his community, and attempted to take his own life 3 times after his marriage broke down. Article as above.

Day 18: Jess Kaur Metro 9.1.24. Photo: ITV*. Jess was falsely accused of stealing £11,000 from the Post Office, resulting in a suicide attempt, sectioning and shock therapy.

Day 19: Roy Calne, 1930 - 2024 Metro 8.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Carried out the first successful liver transplant operation in Europe, in 1968.

Day 20: Simon Parkes Metro 18.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Sam Corbishley. Detectives have received fresh information about Simon Parkes, who went missing in 1986.

Day 21: Julia Sawalha Metro 22.1.24. Photo: ITV*. As Bubble in The Masked Singer, an ITV programme in which anonymous celebrities sing in fabulous costumes.

Day 22: Hilary Fleming Metro, 25.1.24. Photo: SWNS*. A retired NHS worker who has worn a different hat every day for three years to raise funds for Wiltshire Air Ambulance, who twice saved her husband's life.

Day 23: Chris Kapessa, 2006 - 2019 Metro, 23.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article about the death of Chris Kapessa age 13, who drowned after being pushed into a river as a 'prank'.

Day 24: Vanessa Ruck Metro, 24.1.24. SWNS* is credited a different photo in this article. The first female Brit to finish a 13-day, 3,700 miles bike race across the Saharan sand dunes.

Day 25: Raye Metro, 25.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Alicia Adejobi about the Brit Awards nominations. Raye has received a record seven nominations.

Days 26-28: Grace O’Malley-Kumar, Ian Coates and Barnaby Webber Metro 26.1.24. PA*. Article by Brooke Davies about the fatal stabbings of three people who were getting about their lives, and then they weren't.

Day 29: Jaz Singh Metro, 30.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. BBC?* Missed out on a prize of £95K in The Traitors, a BBC TV programme in which the contestants have to figure out who is lying.

Day 30: Cyrus Lueng Metro 31.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. A 12yo schoolboy with the same IQ as Einstein and Stephen Hawking.

Day 31: Jefferson Parlett Metro 31.1.24. SWNS* is credited for a different photo in this article. Article by Elizabeth Hunter about the first person in the world to get a degree in the clowning craft.

Day 32: David Creamer Metro 1.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. A former miner, in agony for 7 months as he was unable to get NHS dental treatment.

Day 33: Gulzarin Iqbal Metro 2.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by Tom Sanders, about how Mr Iqbal ran to the aid of a stabbed teacher.

Day 34: Stephanie Bunyan Metro 2.2.24. Photo: Rex*. Article, by Gergana Krasteva, about a Japanese macaque who spent 5 days on the run from Highland Wildlife Park in the Cairngorms. Honshu, said monkey, was helping himself to Stephanie's bird feeder.

Day 35: Keagan Kirkby, c1999 - 2024 Metro 6.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. 25yo jockey who died after a fall in a race.

Day 36: Ai Weiwei Metro 5.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. He says ‘cancel culture’ in the West is like Mao Zedong's China.

Day 37: Ian Lavender, 1946 - 2024 Metro 6.2.24. Photo: Michael Fresco. As Frank Pike in the classic BBC sitcom, Dad's Army (by David Croft and Jimmy Perry). The last surviving cast member.

Day 38: Chris Pratt Metro 7.2.24. Photo: SWNS* Lidl*. Lidl staff member and perfume advert model.

Day 39: Ricard Plaud Metro 8.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by Sam Corbishley, about a sculptor who spent 8 years building the Eiffel Tower from matchsticks, only to have his Guinness World Record attempt rejected on a technicality.

Day 40: Henry Fambrough, 1938 - 2024 Metro 9.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Last surviving member of the Detroit Spinners.

Day 41: Hind Rajab, 2018 - 2024 Metro 12.2.24. Photo: AFP*. Article, by Sara Odeen-Isbister, about how the bodies of Hind, her aunt, uncle and three cousins were found dead in their bullet-riddled car.

Day 42: Jennie Berry Metro 12.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Jennie, a wheelchair user, had to 'shuffle' up a flight of stairs at Dalston Junction Station when the lift was out of order. There was no sign advising her of this in advance. She says this is a common occurrence. However, she was more upset about the appalling treatment she got from staff. TFL says it's being investigated.

Day 43: Stevie Wonder Metro 12.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by Rachel O'Connor, about how the Glastonbury lot are trying to get Stevie because they're having trouble getting Madonna.

Day 44: Dead Dawg/ Pablo Grant, 1997 - 2024 Metro 13.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article about the death of rapper and actor, Dead Dawg.

Day 45: Leanne Mohamad London Evening Standard 13.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by Rachael Burford, about how pro-Palestinian candidates are working together in London to unseat politicians who do not support a ceasefire. One such candidate, Leanne Mohamad, is campaigning to unseat Wes Streeting.

Day 46: Ralph Sims Metro 15.2.24. Photo: PA*. Ralph Sims died in 2019 at the age of 65. His death was entirely avoidable. The hospital trust has finally admitted negligence and apologised. Ralph's family say that the best thing they can do now is ensure guidelines and protocols are followed.

Day 47: Lucie Colebeck Metro 16.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Former Team GB gymnast and Cirque du Soleil star, Lucie, has set a world record by doing 36 handsprings in 30 seconds.

Day 48 + 49: Bianca Stigter and Steve McQueen Evening Standard Magazine 9.2.24. Photo: Getty*. Stigter and McQueen discuss their new film, 'Occupied City', with Ethan Croft.

Day 50: Jimi Famurewa London Evening Standard 28.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Restaurant review in which a meal for two, plus drinks, costs about £170. Jimi is 'Restaurant Writer Of The Year'.

Day 51: Gabriela Rodriguez Metro 20.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Gabriela was sacked after eating a tuna sandwich from a leftover platter at a business meeting at the solicitors' office where she cleaned. She had worked for the company for two years and had an impeccable record.

Day 52: Robin Windsor, 1979 - 2024 Metro 22.2.24. Photo: PA*. Article, by Josie Copson, about the death of dancer Robin Windsor.

Day 53: Ewen MacIntosh, 1973 - 2024 Metro 22.2.24. Photo: Shutterstock*. He played ‘Big Keith’ in The Office so beautifully.

Day 54: Hide Takemoto London Evening Standard 28.2.24. Photo: Jeremy Selwyn. Article, by Ross Lydall, about the return of the TFL Busking Auditions.

Day 55: Yulia Navalnaya Metro 29.2.24. Photo: Reuters*. The wife of Alexei Navalny, lawyer and Russian opposition leader, says her husband was tortured for 3 years and murdered by Vladimir Putin. Article by Gergana Krasteva.

Day 56: Dave Myers, 1957 - 2024 London Evening Standard 29.2.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by Tina Campbell, about the cook and television presenter.

Day 57: Mia Allen Metro 26.2.24. Photo: SWNS*? Britain's youngest crane operator.

Day 58 + 59: Steve Whitehouse and Kevin Marriott Metro 29.2.24. Photo: SWNS*. Article, by Jen Mills, about a binman who helped another binman to save a man, woman and dog from a burning building, and then went on to finish his round.

Day 60: Oliver Campbell Metro 29.2.24. Photo: Cover Images*. Article, by Sam Corbishley, about a man with learning difficulties who was jailed for life in 1990. The case was 'full of holes' and Mr Campbell was interviewed by police without a solicitor present, and officers may have 'deliberately lied' to him to adduce confessions.

Day 61: John Sheeran Metro 1.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Ed hired the Louvre so his parents could look at the art in private.

Day 62: Justin Welby Metro 5.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. The Archbishop of Canterbury wants to repair the damage done by the Church of England's historic links to slavery, but needs more money.

Day 63: Shaquille Graham, 1994 - 2024 Metro 12.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. A 'figure of light', who was murdered on the street.

Day 64: Katie Boulter Metro 5.3.24. Photo: Getty*. Winner of the San Diego Open. That's tennis. Article by Dave Filmer.

Day 65: Jeff Bezos Metro 6.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Once again the richest person in the world. At time of stitching. Net worth: £158 billion.

Day 66: Maria Branyas Morera Metro 5.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. At 117, Maria is the world's oldest person. She says the secret is lots of positivity and staying away from toxic people.

Day 67: Jodie Foster Metro 8.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Another Oscar nomination for Jodie Foster, who is 58 years into the career her mother predicted would be over 20 years ago.

Day 68: Dave Rowntree Metro 8.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. The Blur drummer has been announced as Labour's candidate for Mid Sussex at the next General Election.

Day 69: Grace Subathirai Nathan Metro 8.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Ten years since the disappearance of flight MH370, Grace recalls the last phone call with her mother. Article by Sarah Bajc.

Day 70: Irma Garcia Metro 11.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article about the Sussexes visiting the family of Irma Garcia, who was killed in a Texas school shooting in 2022.

Day 71: Norah Jones Metro 11.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. At the age of 44, Norah Jones has won 9 Grammys. Interview by Graeme Green.

Day 72: Da’Vine Joy Randolph Metro 12.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Best Supporting Actress for The Holdovers. Article, by Alicia Adejobi, about this year's Oscar winners.

Day 73: AI Generated Man Metro 5.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by Hiyah Zaidi, about how Trump fans are posting AI images to claim the ex-president popular with black voters.

Day 74: Paul Alexander, 1946 - 2024 Metro 14.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Paul ‘lived in an iron lung’ for more than 70 years.

Day 75: Diane Abbott Metro 15.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Letters Page focusing on Frank Lester's racist and misogynistic comments towards Diane Abbott, and about how the tories haven't refunded the millions he has donated to the party.

Day 76: Ben Gojka Metro 15.3.24. Photo: SWNS*. Article about how Ben kicked his potato waffle habit.

Day 77: Taylor Swift Metro 19.3.24. Photo: SWNS*, Getty* or AFP*. Article, by Dean Murray, about how 70,000 jumping/dancing fans created earth tremors equalling a 0.8 magnitude quake.

Day 78: Barack Obama Metro 19.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article about the former US President visiting Downing Street.

Day 79: Oprah Winfrey Metro 19.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article, by John Dunne, about the fat-shaming Oprah had endured for decades, and also about the growing trend of weight management medication.

Day 80: Ann Wilson Metro 20.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. At 82, Britain's oldest barmaid, having poured more than 3 million drinks.

Day 81: Ewan McGregor Metro 23.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. As Mark Renton in Danny Boyle's Trainspotting (1996) from the book by Irvine Welsh. Cinematography by Brian Tufano. TV Listings page, edited by Laurence Phelan.

Day 82: Shelley Duvall Metro 22.3.24. Photo: Rex*. The axe used in The Shining (cinematographer: John Alcott) has sold for £98,000.

Day 83: Karl Wallinger, 1957 - 2024 Metro 23.3.24. Photo: AP*. Obituary of the musician.

Day 84: Kate Middleton i 23.3.24. Photo: Twitter/ KensingtonRoyal*. The Princess of Wales tells the world she has cancer.

Day 85: Natalia i 23.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Natalia was a vet, now she treats people. From a documentary following a Ukrainian battalion on the front line of the war against Russia (Director - Jamie Roberts; Editor - Kate Spankie; Composer - David Schweitzer; Line Producer - Claire Walker; Executive Producer - Jonathan Smith; Production Company - Hoyo Films Ltd.). TV Listings page, edited by Laurence Phelan. BBC2, Monday 25th March, 2024.

Day 86 Laura Kenny i 23.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Laura is retiring, after 5 Olympic gold medals and 7 World Championship titles.

Day 87: Unnamed Protester Metro 27.3.24. Photo: EPA*. Demanding the release of India's opposition leader and anti-corruption activist, Arvind Kejriwal, who is being held in custody on corruption charges just in time for the election.

Day 88: Gary the Gorilla Metro 27.3.24. Photo: SWNS?* The rear of a fibreglass gorilla, named Gary, has been found in a layby on the A92 in Fife. His face, chest and front have been missing for a year. Article by Jen Mills.

Day 89: Michael Copeland Metro 27.3.24. Photo: SWNS*. Campaigner for mental health, climbed Kilimanjaro (and other mountains) with a fridge strapped to his back.

Day 90 + 91: Miguel Luna and Maynor Suazo Metro 28.3.24. Photo: Uncredited. Construction workers who were fixing potholes when a container ship crashed into the Key Bridge in Baltimore. Presumed dead. Article by Gergana Krasteva.

* The photo credits appears as they did in the publications from which the faces were cut. For the record, I don't accept the name of a company as the credit for a photograph. There was an actual person behind the camera. If you are that person, or know them, please let me know.

Better Than Nobody

I support Brentford Football Club by mistake.

Several years back, at the dinner table, my husband and son were dominating the conversation with their beloved Reds. For a laugh, my daughter and I offered our bullshit opinions on tactics, and the like. We told them we loved football, they had just assumed we didn’t. Sexist bastards.

When asked who we support, I glanced at a pile of freshly laundered sheets and said ‘Brentford’ (out of date reference) and that we were off to watch a match that very afternoon.

And so we became football supporters, as much as two people who are totally uninterested in football can.

Due to ongoing random questioning about Griffin Park, we have been forced to follow the Bees for real. Turns out we are lucky charms. I kid you not. Since the day we gave them our magical blessing, Brentford FC have risen through the ranks to the Premier League. It’s uncanny.

Or it could be that they are a ruddy excellent team, with brilliant management and a great work ethic.

In the words of Steven Bartlett, ‘Brentford are special. Very, very special. Based on their resources, they are objectively overachieving’.

Steven goes on to ask Ivan Toney, who has played for many teams so can ‘compare and contrast’, what makes Brentford different?

“Everybody just mixes together. You just get your lunch, you just sit down here, and you talk with whoever. Nobody at the club thinks they’re better than nobody. That comes from the manager and his philosophy at the club”.

I recommend listening to the full interview. Especially if you are my old boss.

Steven Bartlett, Diary of a CEO. Interview with Ivan Toney, 19th August 2023.

What I Think I've Learned About Printing

I was a print* snob. I did not reproduce my work. My business cards are individually made, all unique. When I make greetings cards, each is a one-off.

Last year, I started to rethink my thoughts. Hand stitching takes ruddy ages, and is therefore expensive. Prints of said hand stitching are a more affordable option.

With the help of the lads at The Weavers Factory, I found Klein Imaging in Manchester. A top-drawer outfit with all the eco-creds. They took fantastic photographs**, showing every tiny thread, of my Exile Textiles (above) and RA piece. The balls started rolling for some potential sales.

Nine months later, despite having a gorgeous product, I have only sold nine. I’m yet to break even, after the rail fares to Manchester and photography.

I have not given up, and have just added a new print to my shop. I’m hoping it could enable a partial ease-off on my zero-hours, minimum wage day-jobs.

I knew sod all, but this is what I think I’ve learned:

1. Good quality giclée prints, produced in an ethical environment, are expensive.

2. You need to do a lot of marketing. Probably more than I’m comfortable with.

3. You can’t take anything for granted. The RA piece had massive publicity on the BBC with Joe Lycett. I’ve sold one print.

4. Find a photographer and printer near home. That said, I’m sticking with Klein.

5. Keep your edition run low. With my first prints I insisted on a limited edition of 500. This is considered a bit ridiculous. Even Grayson does less. My new print will be a limited edition of 50.

6. Keep it simple. I offered ALL the sizes, but only the smallest (A3, £75) has sold, so far. I’ve decided on two sizes for the new print, but already I’m thinking I should’ve committed to the bigger one, which is so much more impactful.

Buy my prints here.

*I’m talking about reproductions, not printmaking, which is an artform in itself.

**Shout out to Phil Shelly.

Image: Exile Textile 3. Copyright, Alison Aye, 2024.

Print Pricing

It’s not the done thing, but I thought it might be interesting to show how the £100 spent on my ‘I Have No Thoughts On This Matter’ print, ends up as £34 in my pocket.*

£78.00 shop price (30cms x 30cms)

- 23.48 bespoke printing = 54.52

-7.80 postage = 46.72

-10.00 Certificate of Authenticity = 36.72

-5.00 Arts Emergency donation = 31.72

-2.32 PayPal or 1.32 Stripe fee = £29.40 or £30.40 profit

£100 shop price (50cms x 50cms)

- 40.84 bespoke printing = 59.16

- 7.80 postage = 51.36

- 10.00 Certificate of Authenticity = 41.36

- 5.00 Arts Emergency donation = 36.36

- 2.90 PayPal or 1.60 Stripe fee = £33.46 or £34.76 profit

*I have not deducted photography or general day-to-day business costs. The annual fee for my Squarespace shop is £288.

Currently, I donate £5 from every print sale, and 5% of original art sales, to Arts Emergency. At the end of the financial year, I’m going to change that to a blanket 5% for everything.

Archival standard giclée print, in two sizes, with fade-resistant ink. Limited edition of 50, with a Certificate of Authenticity. Printed by Klein in Manchester on FSC-certified Hahnemühle 290gsm acid-free (and vegan) paper. During paper production, the wastewater is uncontaminated and returned to the source, and the electricity comes from 100% renewable sources. The staff at Klein are treated well and paid fairly.

Find out about the original piece here.

This is what I think I learned from my first foray into printing last year.

Buy a print here.

Photo by Ian Bruton.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024

98 Circles

Collage documenting personal, local, national and international events. Five years in the making. Hand-stitched discarded paper (mostly newspaper) to previously embroidered (stitcher unknown, sadly) cloth.

31 x 81cm, unframed.

Exhibited as part of TAILORED 30th March - 7th July, 2024.

Please note, I have stitched the actual newspaper and NOT a reproduction.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

1. Spitting Image Covid i newspaper 23.11.20. Photo: ITV* Article by Ian Burrell about the return, after a 24 year absence, of Spitting Image. Created by Peter Fluck, Roger Law, Martin Lambie Nairn, Richard Curtis and Doug Naylor.

2. GBBO Trophy i newspaper 25.11.20. Photo: Channel 4*. Cake Stand Trophy, with the hands of Peter Sawkins, 2020 winner of the Great British Bake-Off. Article by Henry Bird.

3. Minoan Clay Vessel Metro 16.12.19. Photo: Uncredited. 3,500 year-old single-use wine vessel. Article about how disposable cups are nothing new. 'The elite were showing off their wealth and status by throwing these great big parties, feasts and festivals. People were getting together in large groups and much like today nobody wants to do the washing-up,' Julia Farley, British Museum.

4. Embroidery Sampler by Mary Frances Heaton Observer 14.11.20. Gary Calton is the only photo credit for the article, but I'm not sure he took this particular photo. Article by Harriet Sherwood about a new Blue Plaque (thanks to Sarah Cobham and other members of 'The Forgotten Women Of Wakefield') in honour of Mary Frances Heaton (1801 1878). Mary was incarcerated in a Yorkshire asylum for 41 years after challenging a cleric when he didn't pay the money he owed. She had been giving his daughter piano lessons. During her time in the asylum she created needlework samplers.

5. Eye of Norman Cornish Northern Echo 23.11.20. Photo: Sarah Caldecott. Article by Gavin Havery about a new mural of Norman Cornish (1919 - 2014) a pitman painter from Spennymoor, County Durham. The mural was painted by Lewis Durham, and copied from one of Cornish's self-portraits.

6. Royal Engagement Ring Mail On Sunday** 29.11.20. Photo: Daily Mirror/ Getty*. Once belonged to Diana, now belongs to Kate. 12-karat oval Ceylon sapphire set in 18-karat white gold, surrounded by 14 solitaire diamonds. When Charles proposed to Diana in 1981 the ring was valued at £30k. Article by Emily Andrews and Ian Gallagher.

7. Extinction Rebellion Wreath Northern Echo 12.12.20. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Ted Hennessey about Extinction Rebellion staging a protest at the Cenotaph on Remembrance Day.

8. Water Droplet Metro 24.10.24. Photo: Aalto University, Finland?* Article about how a material, thought to be the most water-repellent ever, has been created in Finland.

9. Gold Pocket Watch Metro 16.12.20. Photo: SWNS*. The watch was presented to Charles Lawrenson, Master of Cargo on the steamship Nubian, by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914, in recognition of his services in effecting a rescue at sea. The watch, valued at 20k, had been stolen from a jewellery shop in Islington.

10. Pope Francis' Zucchetto Observer 29.11.20. Photo: Grzegorz Galazka. The Pope has written a book. Article by Julian Coman.

11. 12th Century Coin i newspaper 23.10.20. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Tom Pilgrim about an 'excessively rare' 900-year-old coin found in a field in Oxfordshire by John Denham.

12, 13 + 14. Coronavirus Symptom: High Temperature. Coronavirus Symptom: New Continuous Cough. Coronavirus Symptom: Change or Loss of Smell/Taste i newspaper 23.10.20. Illustrator uncredited. HM Government/ NHS statement about recognising Coronavirus symptoms.

15. Ambergris Metro 1.12.20. Photo: Viralpress*. Sperm Whale poo worth £2.4m, used in posh perfumes, washed up on a Thai beach and found by Naris Suwannasang, a fisherman.

16. Kurt Weill's Eye Observer 28.4.19. Photo: Lotte Jacobi, 1930. Article by Vanessa Thorpe about a Kurt Weill opera, The Tsar Wants His Photograph Taken, back on stage 80 years after nazi ban.

17. The Spirit Of The Rose Metro 13.11.20. Photo: Reuters. Article about an extremely rare purple-pink diamond selling for £20m.

18. Doorbell, 11 Downing Street Metro 26.11.20. Photo: AFP/ Getty*. Article about the then Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, painting a grim scene of the public purse, and possibly laying out his stall to become the next Prime Minister.

19. Brit Awards' Print by Ashton Attz London Evening Standard 17.2.20. Photo: Uncredited. Article about Ashton's design for the Brit Awards, and how they won the Evening Standard Art Prize in 2018. I was shortlisted for this prize and it has been a pleasure to watch Ashton go from strength to strength ever since.

20. Let Boris Be Boris Badge Observer 14.7.19. Photo: Dylan Martinez/ Reuters. In reference to Boris Johnson. Article by Nick Cohen about how the main political parties have been taken over by activists who seem to care little for the voters. Comments and Analysis page.

21. Buzz Aldrin and the reflection of Neil Armstrong Metro 19.7.19. Photo: Neil Armstrong. Helmet with the reflection of Neil Armstrong, 1969. Article by Libby Plummer about Nasa announcing plans to put another human on the moon in 2024. However, I've just heard on the radio that it's been moved to 2026.

22. Poppy Wreath Spenny News 22.8.20. Photo: Keith Taylor. Liz Lewarne of the Royal Navy Association, Spennymoor and Ferryhill Branch, laid the wreath to commemorate 75 years since VJ Day.

23. Matt Lucas by Nathan Wyburn Northern Echo 27.5.20. Photo: Nathan Wyburn? Portrait of Matt Lucas on a Potato, by Nathan Wyburn.

24. Great Ormond St Hospital Logo Metro or Evening Standard, July 2019. Conran Design Group* Advert for Walkie Talkie Tower Climb.

25. Green Cross Cut from Mam's Prescription Bag. Designer uncredited. From the final year of my mam's life. Miller's Chemist, Spennymoor.

26. Storm Ciaran Metro 3.11.23. Photo: SWNS*. Article by Josh Milton and Ben Ashton about the aftermath of 104mph UK winds.

27. Virus Infected Cell i newspaper 27.8.20. Photo: AFP*. Credited to The Economist, 2020. A scan of an apoptotic cell (pink) heavily infected with SARS-CoV-2 virus particles (green).

28. USA Election 2020 Logo Metro: 1.10.20. Photo: AFP/ Getty*. Article by Dominic Yeatman about the first televised debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump in the lead up to the presidential election.

29. Apple Observer Magazine 9.6.19. Photo: Uncredited. HM Government Pension Wise advert.

30. National Emblem of Belarus i newspaper 21.8.20. Photo: Reuters*. Article (from 2020) by Mary Dejevsky about the huge protests that broke out when Lukashenko was declared President. In January 2024 the Guardian reported that he has signed a new law granting him lifelong immunity from criminal prosecution and preventing opposition leaders living in exile from running in future presidential elections. He has ruled Belarus for almost 30 years. The next election is due to take place in 2025.

31. Lockdown Pumpkin Northern Echo 31.10.20. Photo: Gary Tidbury. Letters Page.

32. Wok Mail On Sunday** 13.9.20. Photo: Not sure which of these credits applies to the wok: Camera Press/ Alpha/ Avalon* I'm pretty certain none of them. Obituary of Terence Conran (1931 - 2020), ‘responsible for introducing the wok to the UK’, by Ian Gallagher.

33. Cricket World Cup London Evening Standard 15.7.19. Photo: Getty*. Article by Jonathan Prynn, John Dunne, Liam Coleman and Ted Hennessey about England's win over New Zealand in the final. 2019 was the first, and only, time England have won at the time of writing.

34. Door of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation Guardian 12.6.19. Photo: Maxim Shemetov/ Reuters. Article by Luke Harding and Jason Burke about some leaked documents showing Russia's aim to exert power in Africa. Thanks to Jan Hicks for identifying the door.

35. Wimbledon Logo i newspaper 08.07.19. Photo: Uncredited. All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. General Championship update.

36. US Presidential Seal Metro 4.6.19. Photo: PA/ Getty*. Article, by Joel Taylor, about the state visit to the UK by the US President.

37. The Soyuz Capsule Parachute London Evening Standard 25.6.19. Photo: Uncredited. Nasa?*. Article about the safe return of astronauts Anne McClain, Oleg Kononenko and David Saint-Jacques from the Space Station.

38. Sophie's Head Cut from The Tiger Who Came To Tea by Judith Kerr. Picture Lions, 1973. Beyond repair. Illustrator: Judith Kerr, 1968. RIP Judith Kerr, 1923 - 2019.

39. Nicholas Parsons' Watch London Evening Standard 28.1.20. Photo: Uncredited. Front page photo announcing the death of Nicholas Parsons (1923 - 2020) at the age of 96.

40. Union Jack Umbrellas Metro 12.6.19. Photo: Rex is the only credit in the Metro, but the same photo is credited to Graham Hunt in the Guardian. Article about a cricket match between Sri Lanka and Bangladesh, by Aidan Radnedge.

41. 50p Brexit Coin Metro 27.1.20. Photo: PA*. Uncirculated coin observing the withdrawal of the UK from the European Union. Features the date of withdrawal (31st January 2020) and the inscription, 'Peace, prosperity and friendship to all nations'.

42. King's Cross Clock Time Out London 22.3.16. Photo: Warner Bros*. Harry Potter Studios Tour advert. Possibly Warner Bros remake of clock.

43. Roman Coin Metro 11.6.19. Photo: Uncredited. 2,000 years old. Carausius Denarius. As far as they know, it's the only one in the world.

44. Donatella Versace Vogue October, 2018. Photo: Uncredited. I took the Vogue from the bin at work.

45. Infinity Mirrored Room, detail Time Out London 28.8.18. Photo: Uncredited. By Yayoi Kusama. Victoria Miro Gallery, London. Article about the nine best exhibitions to visit in London at the time. Edited by Eddy Frankel.

46. Hammersmith Pride Roundel Metro 27.6.19. Photo: TFL*. Hammersmith Station. Transport For London advert.

47 and 48. Picasso Tits Can't remember where I cut these from. Reclining Nude by Pablo Picasso, 1932. Private Collection, Rome. Marie-Therese Walter, with whom Picasso started a relationship when she was 17 and he was 45, and married to Olga.

49. Anglo-Saxon Coin Observer 12.5.19. Photo: EPA*. Article by Nosheen Iqbal about the magnificent Anglo-Saxon artefacts (a 1,400yo prince's tomb, almost entirely intact, was discovered at Prittlewell) on display in Southend, and how they are not pulling in the crowds.

50. Extinction Rebellion Symbol London Evening Standard 18.4.19. Photo: Alex Lentati. Article by Justin Davenport, Nicholas Cecil and Daniel O'Mahony about the fourth day of protests in central London.

51. Australian Banknote, detail London Evening Standard 9.5.19. Photo: Uncredited. Article about a misprint on the new (not so new, now) Australian $50 banknote.

52. Anti-fascist T-Shirt Guardian 15.6.19. Photo: Linda Nylind. Articles by Sarah Marsh, Aamna Mohdin and Esther Addley about the rise in homophobic and transphobic hate crime. Chris, the t-shirt wearer was attacked on a London bus and left with a broken jaw when she wouldn't 'perform' for a group of men.

53. The Zero from 10 Downing Street i newspaper 25.07.19. Photo: Uncredited. Front page photograph of the new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, under the headline, 'Brexiteers take over'.

54. Notre Dame Medal Can’t remember where I got this. I added this image as a nod to the fire at Notre Dame on 15th April, 2019. The medal was made to commemorate the wedding of Mary Stuart (16yo) and Dauphin Francis (14yo) in 1558. Attributed to Guillaume Martin. Silver. French. 51mm. Met Museum 07.02.

55. Cave Cut from Artrage by Elizabeth Fullerton. Thames and Hudson, 2016. Charity shop. Photo: Uncredited. Maybe Turk? By Gavin Turk, 1991. Ceramic plaque.

56. Help To Buy Logo Metro or Evening Standard July 2019. Designer uncredited. Advert for Galliard Homes.

57. Museum of the Moon Observer 7.7.19. Photo: Finnbarr Webster/ Getty. On display at Sherborne Abbey. Museum of the Moon is a 2016 inflatable installation artwork by Luke Jerram. It is a spherical model of the Moon, with a diameter of 7 metres. Several copies tour the world for temporary exhibitions, often accompanied by music. I accidentally stitched it upside-down. Apologies to Luke.

58. Birthday Balloon London Evening Standard 22.7.19. Photo: Uncredited. One of Priyanka Chopra's 37th birthday balloons.

59. Simona Halep and the Rosewater Dish Observer 14.7.19. Photo: Tom Jenkins/ Observer. Simona Halep holding the Rosewater Dish (introduced in 1886) when she won the Ladies' Singles Championship at Wimbledon in 2019. Article by Tim Lewis.

60. Wensleydale Cheese Observer 16.6.19. Photo: Uncredited. Alamy*? Article by Jillian Ambrose about renewable 'green gas' made from cheese waste.

61. Pound Coin Observer 12.5.19. Photo: PA*. Queen Elizabeth II. Article by Harvey Jones about people forgetting the have pensions.

62. Archie Windsor’s head and Prince Harry’s finger Metro 17.7.19. Photo: Harry or Meghan Windsor/Instagram. Article by Caitlin Doherty about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex sharing a new image of their son on Instagram. Image also includes Harry's finger.

63. Coronavirus i newspaper 17.3.20. Photo: Uncredited. HM Government/ NHS statement about what to do if you have Coronavirus.

64. Saturn V Engine i newspaper 15.7.19. Photo: Kennedy Space Centre?* Article by Rob Hastings about a trip around the Kennedy Space Centre, 50 years after the Moon Landing.

65, 66 and 67. NHS: Face, Hands and Space i newspaper 5.10.20. Photo: Hands Face Space. NHS information page, reminding us to wash our hands, cover our face and keep a distance between ourselves and other people.

68. Painting By Henny Lees Original artwork. Posted to me by Henny Lees. Postmark says March 2020.

69. Deep Fried Mince Pie Metro 14.12.23. Photo: SWNS*. From a picture of Bill Rai, owner of Oh My Cod, holding up a deep fried mince pie in his Lincolnshire chippy. The article is about this and other unusual things he deep fries.

70. Boris Johnson's Birthday Cake Metro 16.6.23. Photo: AP*. Article by Sam Corbishley about Partygate and Boris Johnson's lies.

71. GCHQ i newspaper 12.8.23. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Richard Holmes about hackers, from China and Russia, breaking into the Foreign Office.

72. Judicial Committee of the Privy Council Crest Metro 16.11.23. Photo: PA*. Article by Craig Munro about emergency laws to fly migrants to Rwanda.

73. Golden Globes Trophy Metro 9.1.24. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Ruth Lawes about the Golden Globe winners.

74. Rose For Elianne Metro 29.9.23. Photo: PA*. Article by Liam Coleman about Elianne Andam, killed on her way to school.

75. FIFA Women's World Cup Logo Metro 17.8.23. Designer uncredited, but I think it’s Chern’ee Sutton. …“radial motif featuring 32 colourful squares – celebrating the new expansion to 32 participating nations, and an element commonly seen across the Indigenous cultures of Australia and New Zealand – is a prominent part of the design” (FIFA, 2021)’. Article by Tom Sanders about the Lionesses reaching the World Cup Final.

76. The Moon Metro 24.10.23. Photo: Uncredited. Article about how the Moon is 40 million years older than we thought. Scientists worked it out using lunar dust brought back by Apollo astronauts in 1972.

77. Wheel of the Gold State Coach Metro 11.4.23. Photo: Getty*. Article by Sam Courtney-Guy about Charles III's coronation route.

78. Brexit Bong Metro 3.2.20. Photo: Uncredited. Cut from a picture of Boris Johnson, with the caption, 'Banging the gong for Britain'.

79. Sad Face Emoji Metro 1.10.20. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Martha Alexander about ten years of Instagram.

80. Winston Churchill Coin i newspaper 28.12.23. Photo: Royal Mint*. Royal Mint £2 to commemorate 150 years since the birth of Churchill. Created by Natasha Seaward, a graphic designer at The Royal Mint, the Sir Winston Churchill coin features a portrait of Churchill as a young man in 1895, garbed in the uniform of the 4th Queen’s Own Hussars.

81. Bird Feeder Northern Echo 10.7.20. Photo: Uncredited. Family Photo? Royal Mint £2 to commemorate 150 years since the birth of Churchill. Created by Natasha Seaward, a graphic designer at The Royal Mint, the Sir Winston Churchill coin features a portrait of Churchill as a young man in 1895, garbed in the uniform of the 4th Queen’s Own Hussars.

82. Eat Out To Help Out Logo i newspaper 30.09.23. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/ PA. Article by Jane Merrick about Sunak and the farce that was 'Eat Out To Help Out'.

83. Lock Northern Echo 3.9.20. Photo: Sarah Caldecott. Front page headline of the Northern Echo 'Lockdown Is Looming'. Article by Laura Nolan.

84. Ronnie Scott Plaque London Evening Standard 24.10.19 Photo: Uncredited. Article by Robert Dex commemorating 60 years of Ronnie's.

85. Diego Maradona i newspaper 26.11.20. Photo: Uncredited. Obituary of Diego Maradona (1960 - 2020) by Ivan Ponting.

86. Ant McPartlin Wearing The Helmet Of Snakes Metro 2.11.20. Photo: ITV*. Ant McPartlin endures the 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' Helmet Of Snakes.

87. Madonna's Plait London Evening Standard 18.12.23. Photo: Frazer Harrison/ Getty. London Evening Standard's 'Pictures Of The Year'. Madonna at the Grammys.

88. Amazonian Ceremonial Necklace i newspaper 18.2.23. Photo: Kin Cheung/ PA. Presented to King Charles by Uyunkar Domingo Peas, spokesperson for the Sacred Headwaters of the Amazon.

89. Belt Buckle of Paul O'Grady London Evening Standard 29.3.23. Photo: Uncredited. Obituary of Paul O'Grady (1955 - 2023) by Robert Dex.

90. Cauliflower Guardian 17.8.19. Photo: Uncredited. 400% increase in the wholesale price of cauliflowers due to the weather.

91. Pacific Football Fish Metro 27.10.23. Photo: Uncredited. Article about a fish, normally 3,000ft below the waves and rarely seen intact at the surface, having been washed up on a LA beach. I'm afraid I cut off its forehead-light-on-a-stalk. That's not the technical term.

92. Snooker Ball London Evening Standard 18.12.23. Photo: Mike Egerton/ PA. London Evening Standard's 'Pictures Of The Year'. Just Stop Oil protests at The Crucible, brought a halt to the World Snooker Championship.

93. Post Office Logo Metro 11.1.24. Photo: BBC*. Front Page headline about the Post Office Scandal. Taken from a photograph with the caption, 'Victims tell their heart-breaking and horrifying stories'. Article by Brooke Davies.

94. Beach Stone in Turkey i newspaper 2.9.23. Photo: Mustafa Unal Uysal/ Getty. Article about the endangered loggerhead sea turtle.

95. Scales of Justice London Evening Standard 5.9.23. Photo: Uncredited. From the top of the Old Bailey. Front cover of the Evening Standard. Article about serious flaws in the justice system.

96. Lottery Ball Northern Echo 30.10.20. Photo: Uncredited. National Lottery advert.

97. Masterchef Trophy with the Hair and Shoulder of Lisa Faulkner Sunday Mirror 16.6.19. Photo: Uncredited. BBC?* Article by Scarlet Howes about Lisa Faulkner and John Torode, and how everyday is just like a honeymoon. Faulkner won Celebrity Masterchef in 2010. Her shoulder and hair can be seen in the background of the trophy.

98. Menopause Supplement i newspaper 30.12.23. Photo: Uncredited. Article by Connie Dimsdale about the lack of scientific evidence that some menopause supplements work.

* The photo credit appears as it did in the publication from which the image was cut. For the record, I don't accept the name of a company as the credit for a photograph. There was an actual person behind the camera. If you are that person, or know them, please let me know.

** I have never, and will never, buy the Mail On Sunday.

ING Discerning Eye

I’m really pleased to say that Family Affair has been selected for this year’s ING Discerning Eye.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT MY WORK IS ANY BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE’S! It just means that this year (I have submitted work eighteen times, that’s eighteen years, and been accepted thrice) one of the judges liked my work. I won’t find out which judge selected me until the Private View on 16th November*.

The exhibition is six small (the work is small-scale, too) exhibitions in one. Each judge mounts their own show. The panel is always made up of two artists (Chris Levine, Julian Wild), two collectors (Tony Adams, the footballer, Ian ‘H’ Watkins, the singer) and two critics or some-such (Peju Oshin, critic, Eliza Gluckman - Director of the Government Art Collection). I’m betting Chris Lavine selected mine, on account of his portrait of the Queen, but who knows?

Numbers are limited for the PV (my +1 is reserved for my friend Cathy, if she’s available?), but the exhibition is free and runs at the Mall Galleries in London, from 17th - 26th November.

Image: Detail from Family Affair.

*Edit: It was Chris Levine.

Family Affair

This piece is about the ridiculousness of the monarchy, and how it was built on the backs of working people, and how my feminism is conflicted by three privileged and powerful leaders. The class system, inherited wealth and the common-wealth, it’s about that too. It’s also about Usain Bolt’s orange shoes being worth 20k, and him not being able to catch the person in Croydon who ran off with them. I tried various legs on Elizabeth, Sly Stone’s were made to measure. I need to credit my husband, who came up with ‘Family Affair’.

61. Family Affair

Hand-stitched paper to tea towel

37 x 31cm unframed, 46 x 41cm framed (by The Framing Room)

Queen Elizabeth II with Charles and Anne Balmoral, 28th September 1952. Bromide Print, NPG 1616. Photo by Lisa Sheridan (mother of Dinah Sheridan* and grandmother of Jenny Hanley, Magpie presenter). Cut from Coronation Souvenir. Printed by LTA Robinson Ltd, London. *I have a soft spot for Dinah Sheridan, in that she is in one of the most joyous film moments of all time. The bit in The Railway Children where they have apple pie for breakfast.

Queen Victoria Alexander Bassano 1887 (1882). NPG x8753. For Victoria’s Golden Jubilee. Cut from Kings and Queens by Ronald Pearsall, Tiger Books 1986.

Queen Elizabeth I c1588. Unknown artist. N. Looks like a copy of the Armada Portrait. Cut from Heritage of Britain, Reader’s Digest 1975.

Trousers of Sly Stone, Frank Driggs Collection. Cut from Rock Stars by Timothy White. Columbus Books, 29 Elmfield Road, Bromley, 1984.

Large Feet belong to Usain Bolt. Cut from the i newspaper (16.4.22). Photographer uncredited. The orange Puma running shoes (worth £20k, according to the BBC) were stolen in London in 2014.

Small Feet and Hand belong to Prince William (red shoes) and Prince Harry (blue shoes and hand) Majorca 1987. Photo by Jayne Fincher. Cut from William, The People’s Prince by Ian Lloyd, Pavilion 2003.

Family Affair will be part of the ING Discerning Eye exhibition at the Mall Galleries, from 17th - 26th November. All works are for sale, and continue to be so online until 31st December.

Please note that I do not reproduce physical images to stitch, but use already printed materials. The paper comes from discarded books, newspapers, magazines, calendars and the like. Most of the books I cut are beyond repair, the rest are beyond my respect.

Shifting To The Moon

68. Shifting To The Moon, 2022

Hand-stitched paper to tea towel

60 x 44cm unframed, 62 x 47cm framed (by The Framing Room, with maple and UV glass)

‘Shifting’ is a Durham colloquialism, meaning ‘to move house’. I grew up in a car-free environment, and people often carried furniture by hand, from one house to another. Everybody helped. I have a picture, somewhere, of my dad transporting Uncle David’s couch by wheelbarrow, or ‘barra’ as he calls it.

Moon: From the film La Voyage Dans La Lune, 1902, by George Méliès. The first ever science fiction film. From the book by Jules Verne. Michaut/ Lucien Tainguy. Cut from 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, Steven Jay Schneider, Cassell 2003.

Monkey: Sam, Dec 1959. Nasa Little Joe Test Programme. Hulton Getty Picture Collection. Nick Yapp.

Robot: Alpha, July 1932. Invented by Harry May for the Mullard Valve Company. Hulton Getty Picture Collection. Nick Yapp. Legend has it, that the robot shot the inventor.

Basket: From the film, Around The World In Eighty Days, United Artists, 1956. David Niven and Cantinflas were in the basket. Michael Anderson/Kevin McClory/Mike Todd. Cinematography by Lionel Lindon. George Rinhart/Getty. Cut from 50 Years Of The Movies by Jeremy Pascall, WH Smith 1981.

Andrew and Charles Windsor, now King: ‘Gaining their parachutist’s wings during the Easter holiday from Gordonstoun’ c1978. Coloursport. Cut from Britain In The Seventies by Ronald Allison. Book Club Associates, 1980.

Jarrow Crusade: In October 1936, 200 men marched 300 miles from Jarrow to Westminster to protest against unemployment and poverty. They brought with them a petition requesting the re-establishment of industry. It was received by the House of Commons, but not debated.

Achtung! Sie Verlassen Jetzt West-Berlin: The image, from which this sign is taken, is the copyright of the family of Richard Bissell, who was a CIA officer. He was an administrator of the European Recovery Plan in Germany, after the Second World War. Cut from The American Century by Harold Evans, Jonathan Cape, 1998.

Four More Years: From an image (Charles Nye, 1972) of Richard Nixon electioneering in Ohio, just before the full scope of his Watergate involvement was revealed.

Wet Paint: David McEnery, 1975. Mirror Group.

Maggitun Devastation For Kent: Maggitun didn’t really catch on as an alias for the Channel Tunnel. From an image of anti-tunnel protesters in Folkstone. QA Photographs, the Channel Tunnel Group Ltd. Cut from Breakthrough by Derek Wilson, Century, 1991.

Tow Away Zone: From the film, Manhattan by Woody Allen. United Artists, 1979. 50 Years of the Movies by Jeremy Pascall, WH Smith 1981.

Britain Awake: Fascist banner.

Caution No Swimming: Banksy, 2005. Bathing Lake, Hyde Park, London. Lasted three and a half weeks. Cut from Banksy Wall and Peace, Century 2006.

The Batchelors: 1922, Getty.

Face of the Enemy in Kabul: State Britain by Mark Wallinger, 2007. Brian Haw’s banners recreated.

Reserved For Pastor: William Lovelace, 1961. From a photograph of two men sleeping in the pastor’s car park during a siege of the First Baptist Church in Montgomery Alabama, by a white mob of three thousand during the night of 20th/21st May, 1961.

The End of the World is Near: David McEnery, 1975. Mirror Group.

Peace: From a photo taken en route to a Women’s Peace Congress in the Hague, April 13th 1915. Jane Addams, Emmeline Pethick-Lawrence, Annie E Malloy. Possibly Mary Heaton Vorse and Lillian Kohlhamer. Bain News Service. George Grantham Bain Collection, Library of Congress. The American Century by Harold Evans, Jonathan Cape 1998.

Gone to Morroco with Hilton: From a picture of Sarah Lucas and Tracey Emin by Carl Freedman, 1993. It’s the one where they are standing in the doorway of ‘The Shop’ on Bethnal Green Road, London. The sign is painted above the door. Don’t know who Hilton is, and neither does Google. If I ever meet Tracey or Sarah, it’s the first thing I’ll ask them. Cut from Artrage by Elizabeth Fullerton, Thames and Hudson 2016.

Bands Won’t Play No More: Quote from Ghost Town by The Specials/ Jerry Dammers. 2 Tone Records. BBC 1981. Stitched in honour of Terry Hall (1959 - 1922) who died during the making of this piece. Also, I now recognise areas of London in the video, which I didn’t know in 1981. Why must the youth fight against themselves? Particularly poignant at the moment.

Smash Thatcher: Consett Steel Workers’ banner. I grew up in Spennymoor which is 14 miles from Consett, and very similar. Nobody in my hometown liked Thatcher. I’d never knowingly met a tory until I moved South. Northern Echo. Cut from Memories of County Durham in the 1980s, in association with Love Darlo.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All: State Britain by Mark Wallinger, 2007. Brian Haw’s banners recreated.

First National Coal: Betteshanger Colliery, Deal, Kent. NCB, 1st January 1947. 100 Years in Pictures by DC Somervell, Odhams Press.

The Magi of Chaldea (Wise Men): Priest-Astronomers who gave names to the stars. Odhams Wonder-World of Knowledge by JA Lauwerys, RL James and Brian Vasey-Fitzgerald. There’s a long list of possible illustrators: Carlo Alexander, AE Barbosa, Laurence Bradbury, Royman Browne, AH Burvill, Gaynor Chapman, David Cobb, Neville Colvin, H Connolly, Gordon Davies, Rowland Davies, Bruce Drysdale, Barry Evans, EI Ford, Grace Golden, LG Goodwin, Harry Green, LS Haywood, W Hobson, Peter Horne, William Kempster, P Kesteven, R King, Richard Leacroft, Joan Martin May, N Meredith or C Newsome-Taylor.

Please note that I do not reproduce physical images to stitch, but use already printed materials. The paper comes from discarded books, newspapers, magazines, calendars and the like. Most of the books I cut are beyond repair, the rest are beyond my respect.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

Homage To Delaunay

A recreation of the cradle cover Sonia Delaunay made for her son, John, in 1911. The original (copyright, Centre Pompidou) was shown as part of a 2015 Tate Modern exhibition. I was completely bowled over by its beauty.

I used fabrics of sentimental value, as did Delaunay. Each piece of cloth was once worn by my family and friends. For example, the darker green is from the jacket my daughter wore on her first day at school. Coincidentally, this is the same day I started working at the National Portrait Gallery, and the more vibrant red is from my old uniform.

19. Homage To Delaunay

Hand stitched textile

20 x 15cm unframed, 33 x 27.5cm framed

Framed by Jacob at The Framing Room using sapele and museum grade glass.

Photo by Ian Bruton.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

Damien Shamien

It’s about my mam’s massively subservient nature, and how she expected the same of me. Her dying words were that I must iron my dad’s clothes nicely. “Make sure yer dad has a nice crease in his pants.” His home is a four-hour journey from mine.

Made at my parents’ house during Lockdown, where I took care of my mother in the final eighteen months of her life. I was unable to return to my husband and children for fear of bringing germs to my mam and dad, who had a stroke the week after my arrival.

I accidentally became their carer. It’s the closest to hell my privileged life has ever taken me. I lost my employment, and my mind, into the bargain.

Rarely leaving the house, I had no art materials. The background is one of my mother’s napkins, and the lettering is cut from my father’s handkerchiefs.

I’m making fun of Damien Hirst’s success, and my lack of it. Inspired by his shark sculpture, ‘The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living’. Mam was in her final weeks of life, lying motionless on a hospital bed at home, where I was nursing her. Her death was imminent and inevitable, but seemed impossible.

I carry the guilt of being relieved when she died.

39. Damien Shamien, 2021

Hand-stitched textile

35 x 35cm unframed

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

Is This A Landscape?

Made at my parents’ house during Lockdown, where I found myself living, in what turned out to be the final year of my mother’s life. She was diagnosed with inoperable cancer, just before the pandemic, so I went up North to see her.

A week after my arrival, Dad had a stroke. I was unable to return home to my husband and children, for fear of bringing germs to my parents. I accidentally became their carer and lived with them for eighteen months, losing my employment and my mind in the process.

Rarely leaving the house, I had no art materials. I used whatever I could find. The background is made from my Dad’s old shirt, which Mam will have washed and ironed hundreds of times, and the trees were cut from prescription bags, of which there were many.

33. Is This A Landscape? 2021*

Hand stitched paper to polycotton shirt

11.5 x 44.5cm unframed, 19 x 52cm framed (by The Framing Room)

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

* It was made in 2021, but I stitched 2020 by mistake. One of many stitch-related mistakes I was making at the time. My head was all over the place. I decided to leave it.

Unseated

Made as a response to Claire Mort’s Brave Pants project.

I like cutting Picasso, and I thought it would be fun to pull Fernande Olivier out of that chair and give her some knickers. She looked so miserable.

An artist in her own right, Olivier was the daughter of a married man and ‘his mistress’. Raised by an abusive aunt, who arranged her marriage, she fled to Paris at nineteen, changing her name so her husband couldn’t find her.

Picasso (“Each time I leave a woman, I should burn her”) used to lock her in the studio.

54. Unseated, 2022.

Hand-stitched paper/canvas collage.

46 x 37.5cms, framed*

Body cut from an image of Femme Assise (Fernande Olivier) by Pablo Picasso, 1908. Oil on canvas. 150 x 100cms. The State Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg (below).

Big pants cut from an image of Kate Moss wearing a leotard by Julien Fournié. Mert and Marcus for Paris Vogue, 2011.

Feet of Kate Moss. Shoe designer unknown (any help much appreciated). Mert and Marcus for W magazine, 2005.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

*Framed by Ming, 29 Chatterton Road, Bromley. Oak and 99% UV glass.

Please note that I do not reproduce physical images to stitch, but use already printed materials. The paper comes from discarded books, newspapers, magazines, calendars and the like. Most of the books I cut are beyond repair, the rest are beyond my respect.

Better Than Nobody

I support Brentford Football Club by mistake.

Several years back, at the dinner table, my husband and son were dominating the conversation with their beloved Reds. For a laugh, my daughter and I offered our bullshit opinions on tactics, and the like. We told them we loved football, they had just assumed we didn’t. Sexist bastards.

When asked who we support, I glanced at a pile of freshly laundered sheets and said ‘Brentford’ (out of date reference) and that we were off to watch a match that very afternoon.

And so we became football supporters, as much as two people who are totally uninterested in football can.

Due to ongoing random questioning about Griffin Park, we have been forced to follow the Bees for real. Turns out we are lucky charms. I kid you not. Since the day we gave them our magical blessing, Brentford FC have risen through the ranks to the Premier League. It’s uncanny.

Or it could be that they are a ruddy excellent team, with brilliant management and a great work ethic.

In the words of Steven Bartlett, ‘Brentford are special. Very, very special. Based on their resources, they are objectively overachieving’.

Steven goes on to ask Ivan Toney, who has played for many teams so can ‘compare and contrast’, what makes Brentford different?

“Everybody just mixes together. You just get your lunch, you just sit down here, and you talk with whoever. Nobody at the club thinks they’re better than nobody. That comes from the manager and his philosophy at the club”.

I recommend listening to the full interview. Especially if you are my old boss.

Steven Bartlett, Diary of a CEO. Interview with Ivan Toney, 19th August 2023.

I Have No Thoughts On This Matter

I Have No Thoughts On This Matter, 2020.

Hand-stitched textile.

35cms x 35cms, unframed.

Private Collection.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

It’s about ‘good girls’ putting up and shutting up.

‘I have no thoughts on this matter’ was my mantra during 2020. At the age of 53, I had moved back to my childhood home, sharing a bed with my mother, in what turned out to be the final year of her life. I left my husband and kids and went 300 miles north. A place where I am undervalued and underestimated. Everybody else's time is more valuable than my own. It was expected of me, and I did it, losing both my jobs, pretending it didn’t matter.

For the 18 months I was there, hand stitching kept me on the right side of sane.

As always, the materials are recycled.

A friend was binning the tea towel, describing it as embarrassing, the way the middle-classes do.

The orange and blue are my husband’s old clothes.

The blue, a shirt I remember him wearing at my cousin’s wedding. I was a Bo-Peep inspired bridesmaid. The evening cèilidh was a riot. We laughed and danced our socks off, except Mr S, who sat on the side-lines, unable to make a fool of himself.

The orange, boxer shorts I bought on Christmas Eve 1991, from the Next near Charing Cross Station, London.

The red fabric, used for my signature, is an old National Portrait Gallery uniform. I worked there for 12 years. Undervalued and underestimated. The date next to it was cut from Amnesty International Magazine, Issue 206.

I Have No Thoughts On This Matter is now available as a limited edition print. The original was bought by a French woman, which I took as the greatest of compliments.

Photo by Ian Bruton.

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024.

What It Costs For The Stuff I Use

Domain: £19.20

Squarespace website with shop: £288

Google Workspace: £66

Co-op Bank: £84

Crafts Council Directory: £60

Flodesk: £174

Total: £691.20

This is what it costs, per annum, for the stuff I use.

I don’t have a studio, but a quick search says that the average UK rent is between 3 and 4k per year. Working from home puts limitations on what I can make, but a studio is currently beyond my budget. I do what I can with what I have, and I am grateful for it.

On the whole, I am mostly pleased with Squarespace. I do it all myself, and my tech skills are limited. One day, I will happily pay someone to gentrify my website.

I love Flodesk. Not sure it’s worth it. Especially as some of my monthly emails have suddenly, and inexplicably, begun to end up in random junk folders. I joined for £14.50 per month when it was in the Beta stage. No matter how big my subscriber list grows, the price will always remain the same. That was my reasoning. Subscribe below, if you fancy.

Google Workspace. Worth every penny. I was lured in with a free year, and paid for a second.

Co-op Bank*. When I first registered as a sole trader, I was advised to open a business account. The first 2 years were free, but now I’m wondering if it’s money down the pan.

The Crafts Council Directory is new to me. I joined because I got 3 months free. I thought it might bring some business my way. It hasn’t. If nothing changes by the end of the year, I’m leaving. The CC has some excellent free business resources.

*A few years ago I opened a Starling Business Account, which is free and I highly recommend. However, I can’t connect it to my PayPal Business Account, which is why I haven't closed down the Co-op.

Majorca '79

Majorca ‘79 was inspired by Man Ray’s portrait of Max Ernst. A photograph (photographer unknown), of me, hand-stitched to a tea towel, is about my reluctance to reconstruct my life after twenty-five years of marriage, but also about my first time abroad at the age of twelve. My nana took me to Majorca, where the photograph was taken. She was drunk every night and a horrible racist.

Majorca ‘79, 2023

Photograph hand-stitched to tea towel

62 x 47 cm, unframed

Copyright: Alison Aye, 2024

How Much?

I should’ve thought this through beforehand.

Last month, I had some work (an unimaginable amount of hours in hand embroidery) accepted for a group show a few hundred miles away. A very expensive train journey involving three changes, not possible to do in a singe day on the coach. After much deliberation, I decided not to take part.

Because money.

The price I put on the artwork was £675 (How much?).

The gallery takes 35% (not complaining), which leaves £438.75.

The submission cost was £15, leaving £423.75.

The framing was £145.04 (again, not complaining), leaving £278.71.

The fare to the framer’s was £15.20 (£3.80 x 4), leaving £263.51.

The fare to drop the work at the exhibition (and come home again) would be £140, leaving £123.51.

So, best case scenario, my work sells (the stats say it won’t) and I make £123.51 for a piece of work that was years in the making.

A more likely outcome is I make a loss of £280 in train fares, and valuable time, after collecting the piece when the exhibition finishes. The only upside is I would’ve met some new artists, who may have become friends, which is, of course, priceless.

The exhibition organisers were lovely and went out of their way to try and make this work for me, but in the end it just didn’t add up.

Don't Feel Bad, Joe

I have been applying to be part of the Royal Academy Summer Show, on and off, for 30 years. I have never been accepted, and this year was no different.

Last year, I was on a telly programme, presented by Joe Lycett, which documented the highs and lows of a group of artists who were hoping to be chosen. Joe referred to me as Queen of the Rejected, in a nice way. I had entered RA Bastard Shites, a piece about being rejected from said exhibition. I was asked to cover the title.

The process starts in February, when you pay the fee (now £38), fill in the online application form and upload your photos. The first round results arrive by email towards the end of March. If you are successful the RA judges give your work ‘careful consideration’ upon its delivery to the Academy at the beginning of May. Results of the second round are announced later that month, at which point you will either collect your work or leave it for the exhibition. There’s still a chance you could rejected, they always take more than they need.

Today is Varnishing Day. So called because the likes of Turner would varnish work after it was on the wall. It’s full of pomp and ritual. The artists go to a church service at St. James’s, then stop traffic on Piccadilly as they march to the RA, where they finally see their work on display. Some complain that it is too high or low. BFF* Joe had his sculpture, Chris, accepted one year. It was displayed on the floor, in the corner, butted up against the skirting board.

Joe got accepted, for a second time, this year. Although he is prolific on social media, he just announced it a few hours ago. He has known for a while.

This is what I’m thinking. Joe is a nice person. He feels a bit bad that he got accepted on account of all the people who got rejected. I don’t want anyone to feel bad on my account. I see it in other artists, too. They get accepted, but don’t like to say so, for fear of making the rejectees sad. It makes me feel way sadder than getting rejected ever could.**

Artists, please share your good news. The majority of us are happy for you. Screw the others. They need to work on themselves.

And on that note, I have two RA rejected artworks available as limited edition prints. This year’s rejection Exile Textile 3, and last year’s rejection RA Bastard Shites.

Alison

*To whom it may concern - I know Joe Lycett isn’t really my friend, but thanks for telling me repeatedly.

**Of course I could be over-thinking the whole thing and JL gave it no thought at all.

Photo by Phil Shelly for Klein Imaging.

Profit

I am 56 and this year (tax year 22/23) I made a profit from my art for the very first time. The sum of £893.76 is not to be sniffed at, but hardly enough to live on. I have always had a day-job.

Before this, 21/22 had been my best financial year. I made a loss of £375.92.

In 2016 (based on 2015 data) Arts Council England published the Livelihood of Visual Artists Report, finding most artists earned less than £5,000 from their art* that year. These artists are either rich, being supported by someone else, or had other forms of income. There’s not enough honesty about this. According to the report, 7% of artists earned more than £20,000, and 2% more than £50,000. The average art practice income was £6,000. I can’t find a more recent ACE study, they don’t do these things very often, although it may have been updated slightly in 2018.

Data from the Office for National Statistics (Ben Quinn for the Guardian) found that the number of working class people in the arts has shrunk by half since the 1970s. Don’t get me started.

I’m writing from a place of privilege. For a brief period in history the door was opened and the likes of me walked straight through. They’ve closed the door now. Someone from my background would not be able to go to art college today.

This is why 5% of my sales go to Arts Emergency.

*In this context, making ‘a living from your art’ means money made from selling an actual piece of art. Teaching, workshops and non-original prints (not printmaking/etching as this IS art) are considered ‘other sources of income’.