Exile Textile
The original version is 101 x 87cm, made from hand stitched fabric scraps.
Started 31st March, finished 29th September, 2020.
In March 2020 my Mam rang and told me she had terminal cancer. I took all of my annual holiday allowance from one job (osteopath’s receptionist) and cancelled my monthly shifts from the other (zero hours contract at the National Portrait Gallery) and went north, to a home I couldn’t wait to get away from 36 years earlier. Three hundred miles from where I live in South London.
One week after I arrived my Dad had a stroke and my Mam had her first chemo. Two weeks after I arrived the country went into Lockdown. Six weeks after I arrived the PM said we were past the peak of the pandemic. I ended up living there for over a year.
It didn’t take long before I had lost both jobs and become my parents’ carer. And so it was that Exile Textile began, in the most miserable of circumstances. Stitching in secret in the early hours of the morning with materials I found around the house. Recording my time there and hanging onto my sanity.
Mam died in April 2021.
Below is an explanation of the different sections.
FURLOUGHED A new word to me.
The CROSSED-OUT NUMBERS, cut from an old wash bag, represent Mam’s chemo. She had 9 sessions. When Dad got home after his stroke, Mam said we should throw that bloody wash bag out. It was only ever used for hospital visits, and I’m 92% certain that I had it with me in 1974 when I had my tonsils extracted at Sunderland General. The black crosses came from my sister’s Dorothy Perkins’ trousers, as do all the black bits. The yellow background is from Mam’s massive duster collection, as are all the yellow bits.
COVID-19, LOCKDOWN and SECOND HOME ESCAPEES, speak for themselves. The red fabric came from Mam’s under-the-bed stash. Sometimes she did Christmas Craft Fairs and had lots of red, green and white fabric for such occasions.
WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS (FLOURS) GONE? is a song (Seeger/Hickerson) that went viral at the time. Simon Wood on Instagram suggested I change it to ‘flours’, which was brilliant, on account of lots of people making bread and the shops running out of flour. The background is a tote bag for a festival my sister went to by mistake. She thought she was going to the Eden Festival, which is a huge music festival in Scotland. About half an hour into the journey she discovered she was on her way to the Eden Escape Festival, a yoga thing in Cumbria. She put the bag in the bin and I took it out.
STAY ALERT TO BULLSHIT and STAY HOME BUT GAN OOT is in reference to the daily conflicting advice from the government.
JUNETEENTH dates back to 1865. ‘It commemorates the day when 250,000 slaves in the state of Texas, which became the last bastion for slavery during the final days of the Civil War, were declared free by the U.S. Army’*. I’m ashamed to say I hadn’t heard of it until June 2020.
A SUPPORT BUBBLE ‘is a support network that links 2 households. You do not need to maintain social distancing with people in your support bubble. However, maintaining social distance and taking other precautions such as washing hands and opening windows will help reduce the spread of coronavirus’**. I used one of Dad’s 672 unopened boxes of handkerchiefs for the letters.
WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH A STORM Lyrics from You’ll Never Walk Alone (Rodgers and Hammerstein), the anthem for Liverpool FC, who had won the Premier League with no fans there to celebrate. My husband and son are life long supporters and I hadn’t seen them for four months at this point. I was in a storm, too.
2020 with a cross through it, is because I was rejected from the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition. And also because 2020 was a complete write-off. An old sheet stitched to an ‘embarassing’ teatowel my friend threw away.
THE R NUMBER Everyone has forgotten about it now, but it was all the rage during the pandemic.’An R value of 1 means that on average every person who is infected will infect 1 other person, meaning the total number of infections is stable. If R is 2, on average, each infected person infects 2 more people’**. The background is a jaycloth.
19 WEEKS is pretty self explanatory. The length of time I’d been there, without leaving the house, at the time of stitching. I used one of my old work uniforms.
CLAP FOR THE CARER/CAREER GIRL is in reference to all the clapping we were doing for the overworked and underpaid NHS workers. I am the ‘carer girl’, my sister the ‘career girl'.
I CAN’T BREATHE are the dying words of George Floyd on 25th May, 2020. He was killed by a Minneapolis police officer who kneeled on his neck for over eight minutes. Mam and Dad always kept charity shop clothes for the kids at their house, on account of us not having a car and not being able to carry much. I used one of my son’s t-shirts.
LOW SKILLED WORKERS became KEY WORKERS, but are now back to being unappreciated ‘low skilled’ workers again.
PPE (personal protective equipment), an abbreviation of which I hadn’t previously heard, was a hot topic in 2020, and still is because some people made a corrupt fortune out of it.
TAKE THE KNEE (‘a symbolic gesture against racism’) is because of Dominic Raab saying he would only take the knee for his wife or the Queen.
Exile Textile II: The New Normal
The original version is 100 x 87cm, made from hand stitched fabric scraps.
2020 - 2021
As well as a personal diary, ‘Exile Textile II: The New Normal’ also documents events in the wider world at the time of the Lockdowns. It is made from materials found around my parents’ house, as I nursed my mother in the final year of her life.
It’s called ‘The New Normal’, in that that’s what people were saying about the current world situation. But also, a ‘new normal’ for me, in that my mam died during the making of this piece. And ‘Exile Textile II’, in that I made some art from textiles whilst exiled at my parents’ house, and this is the second one. You can see the first one here, and the third one here.
My Exile Textiles wouldn’t have been made if it hadn’t been for Mam’s cancer. I went Up North to nurse her in February 2020, and got locked in. Stitching these little bits and bobs kept me sane. The logistics of stitching newspaper (my usual practice) proved impossible, whereas carrying around an old duster and a needle, much easier.
The whole thing is backed with a sheet from Mam’s bed. We had to tear it off when she vomited, as we couldn’t remove it from beneath her.
Below is an explanation of the different sections.
GET OUTTA MY PUB/CAPITOL is a nod to the death, on 10th December 2020, of Barbara Windsor. It became her catchphrase on Eastenders. I once accidentally saw her herding sheep on London Bridge. Also, once, in the late eighties, when I briefly worked for a theatrical costumier’s, I spoke to her on the phone. One more thing, there are two ladies in my home town who went to school with her. They were evacuated during the war. Dad likes to chat to them but he hasn’t seen them for ages. About four weeks after Babs’ death, Donald Trump supporters stormed the Capitol Building in Washington DC. They were attempting to overturn his defeat in the 2020 USA presidential election. On 7th November 2020, Trump tweeted I WON THIS ELECTION BY A LOT.
ZOOM, the video thing, was new (to most people, anyway) in 2020.
PEACE MAKER is my mam, 1944 - 2021.
COVIDIOTS were new, too. According to the Urban Dictionary, ‘Someone who ignores warnings regarding public health and safety. A person who hoards goods, denying them for their neighbours.’
‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY CAREFUL was a hypocritical soundbite from the then Prime Minister, Boris Johnson.
CRONYISM ‘The appointment of friends and associates to positions of authority, without proper regard to their qualifications’. Oxford English Dictionary. Always rampant amongst those at ‘the top’, but here referring in particular to the PPE contracts scandal, which according to the Government’s website cost the British taxpayer £1.4 billion.
VIENNA On 2nd November 2020, a few hours before Vienna was to enter lockdown, 4 people were killed and 23 injured in a gun attack.
HAND OF GOD refers to the death of Diego Maradona, who died on 25th November 2020, whilst commenting on the wider Covid situation and the frequent comparisons to biblical plagues.
LOCKDOWN 2.0/3 the second (5/11/2020) and third (4/1/21) UK lockdowns during the Pandemic.
FREE CUTHBERT was a Twitter hashtag. On 16th April 2021, Marks & Spencer launched legal action against Aldi’s Cuthbert Caterpillar cake, on account of it being very similar to their very own, and totally delicious (although not as delicious as it used to be), Colin. Twitter went hilariously berserk.
DES O’CONNOR, 1932 - 2020. The comedian, singer (36 albums and 4 top ten singles), television presenter and the butt of Eric and Ernie’s jokes (which he took admirably, and apparently helped to write) died on 14th November. According to Wikipedia he was the son of a cleaner and a dustman.
BIDEN HARRIS On 11th August 2020, Kamala Harris was chosen by Joe Biden to be his running mate in the 2020 presidential election. NEVER-ENDING SHADE is a line from the poem, ‘The Hill We Climb’, written and recited by Amanda Gorman at the Biden inauguration on 20th January, 2021.
YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY HERE JACKIE WEAVER Said by Brian Tolver at a Handforth Parish Council Zoom meeting on 10th December, 2020. The meeting went viral, catapulting Jackie to UK Twitter fame. She opened the Brits, ALW wrote a song about her, and I stitched her. This also gave me a name for my Substack - Alison Aye Has No Authority. READ IT AND UNDERSTAND IT was also said at the aforementioned meeting.
ROAD MAP In March 2021, ‘the people of England saw restrictions start to lift and the Government’s four-step roadmap offered a route back to normal life.’ UK Government Website.
RASHFORD, SANCHO, SAKA The reference to Rashford is twofold. On 15th June 2020, Marcus Rashford wrote an open letter to the government asking to overturn the decision not to extend the food voucher scheme for vulnerable children during the school summer holidays.
During the Euros Final (that’s the football, not the money) in July 2021, Rashford, Sancho and Saka received horrendous racial abuse when they missed penalties. ITA 3, ENG 2. Estimated global audience of 328 million.
ROSA, SARA, FRIMID, ABRAM, MARTIN, SHEINDEL, GITTA, MOSHE, HERMAN AND LESLIE KLEINMAN On 28th January 2021, I read a newspaper article in which Leslie Kleinman asks that his family, who were killed by the nazis, should be remembered. He died on 30th June, 2021. Leslie’s family were taken to Auschwitz when he was 14. They were all murdered except Leslie and his sister Gitta. Not that he knew she had survived. She died shortly after liberation. After the war, Leslie came to the UK. ‘I married, built a family and created a new life. My children should have had grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins’.
SQUEEZE THE DISEASE On 23rd November 2020, Boris Johnson told us to, ‘Get a test to help squeeze the disease and reduce the restrictions that your town or city has endured.’
WALK ON THROUGH THE WIND, WALK ON THROUGH THE RAIN lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein from You’ll Never Walk Alone. I stitched them, whilst trying to navigate my own storm in 2020. They were intended for my first Exile Textile, but they wouldn’t fit. My husband and son are lifelong Liverpool FC supporters.
MUTE Being a moron, I never bought anything pink for my daughter. My mother regularly made up for that. She bought this dress in 2006 in a shop in Spenny called Mackays. In my day the Mackays’ building was Doggarts, a fantastic department store that was a treat to visit. I can see the toy department in my mind’s eye right now, with money darting overhead in those tube thingies. Mute was often used at the time, regarding stopping unwanted noise during a video-meeting. It has dual meaning here, though, as I revert to being ‘mute’ when I am in my childhood home.
PRINCESS NUT NUTS (or Nut Nut depending on who is telling the story) is a nickname Dominic Cummings (now-sacked-but-then-prime-minister’s-senior-aid) used for Carrie Symonds (prime-minister’s-24-years-younger-mistress-wife) and PRINCESS LATIFA is the daughter of the ruler of Dubai. In 2020 she was abducted by her father, after she fled in 2018. Her story is currently being turned into a TV drama called The Escape. Lindsay Shapero is writing the script.
LONG COVID is a chronic illness that can develop or persist after a COVID-19 infection.
A BAREFACED LIAR PROMOTED TO OUR HIGHEST OFFICE A quote from the much anticipated sixth series of Line of Duty. On 2nd May 2021, 56% of the UK’s television audience watched the final episode. The words were said by Superintendent Ted Hastings, played by Adrian Dunbar. I can’t be certain, but I think that Jed Mercurio was directing these words straight at Boris Johnson. That’s where I’m pointing my stitched version, anyway.
THE NEW NORMAL (broken heart under) that’s what people were saying about the then-current world situation. But also, a new normal for me, in that my mam died during the making of this piece.
Materials
Dad’s handkerchiefs: Background and letters for Get Outta My Pub; Zoom; ITA 3 ENG 2; Jackie Weaver.
Dad’s white shirt: Capitol; the Kleinmans; Jackie Weaver; You’ll Never Walk Alone; title and signature; Rashford, Sancho and Saka.
Red/green fabric from Mam’s Christmas Craft Fair stash: Capitol; ‘Tis the season; lockdowns; Hand of God; You’ll Never Walk Alone; Mam.
My sister’s black Dorothy Perkins’ trousers: Road Map; Free Cuthbert; the Kleinmans; Never Ending Shade.
Mam’s dusters: Free Cuthbert; Barefaced Liar; Lockdowns; ‘Tis the season.
My unintentionally sexy salmon blouse: I won this election; Princesses, Barefaced Liar; Covidiots.
Once red (now orange) sheet: Barefaced Liar.
Mr S’s orange boxers bought at Charing Cross Next on Christmas Eve c1990: Barefaced Liar
Mr S’s shirts: Vienna; Des; I won this election; Zoom; Lockdown; Ita 3 Eng 2.
Apron: Des; Princess Nut Nuts.
My old blue dress: Latifa; Get outta my pub.
Giles’ NPG Uniform: the red bit in Biden.
Off-cut from some blinds I once made: BIDEN HARRIS.
My Old Denim Dress: Cronyism; Road Map.
My daughter’s dress: Road Map, read it and understand it.
Mam’s nightie, cut from her because we couldn’t get it over her head: Mam, peacemaker, 1944 - 2021.
Del’s old shirts: Background for Biden/Harris; Long Covid; Never-Ending Shade; covidiots.
My NPG uniform: Hand of God.
My daughter’s floral pink dress: Hand of God.
My daughter’s pink and orange dress: Mute.
Green satin from Cathy: ‘tis the season; mute.
Old sheet we had to rip off Mam’s bed: backing.
My sister’s black tote bag: Road Map.
Purple Seersucker, an old skirt I made myself (fabric bought from Rolls and Rems in Lewisham) for my first and last trip to Florence in 1997: Rashford, Sancho, Saka.
Stitched using Mam’s thread; Judith (mother of Nick) Cash’s thread, who died a few weeks after my mam; and some vintage Sylko, a birthday present from my friend Cathy.
Exile Textile III: The Prequel:
I make small pieces of work in small pockets of time. Stitching that fits into an actual pocket and can be done on a bus. Eventually the tiny components become something much larger. Having no studio and multiple dayjobs, all of my artwork has been made in this way.
‘Exile Textile 3: The Prequel’, was completed in 2022, but is made up of sections which were sewn years earlier. After the completion of ‘Exile Textile’ and ‘Exile Textile 2:The New Normal’, I was on a bit of a roll and keen to make a third by joining together lots of old work.
Most of it was sewn in 2016-17 and marks deaths and events of the time - Terry Wogan (my Dad despised him, partly because he reckoned he got paid loads for doing Children In Need, but mostly because my mam liked him) George Michael, Barry Hines (Kes was the only book I enjoyed at school), John Berger, Alan Rickman, Paul Daniels, David Bowie, Victoria Wood, Alex Timpson (the most amazing woman), Jill Saward (in 1986, at the age of 21, she was raped by two burglars and the judge said she suffered ‘no great trauma’), Brexit, the Manchester Arena bombing, the Westminster Bridge attack, Grenfell Tower and the Paradise Papers (leaked documents revealing the names of rich people with offshore tax havens, like King Prince Charles).
‘What kind of people are we?’ is something Billy Bragg said on Question Time (2017) in reference to 3,000 ‘refugee’ children that the UK was refusing to accommodate. He also paraphrased Tony Benn in saying that the way a government treats refugees is the way they’d treat the rest of us given half the chance.
Kunst (and also the ‘C’) was intended to be a tory Venn Diagram, but I never finished.
The red background on the bottom right corner is made up of squares of National Portrait Gallery uniforms (mine and my frolleagues’), stitched in 2014. The blue squares are cut from a tie (shoutout to Carl). The yellow chainstitched writing, bottom right quarter, is on the same uniform and made on my commute to said gallery.
The ‘2017’ was stitched on NYE 2016, and destined to become part of my RA rejection piece, but I couldn’t find it at the time. The words ‘then’ and ‘will’ and ‘stronger economy’ were meant to be part of the Gyles Brandreth Brexit piece.
‘BFF Joe Lycett’ is in reference to me appearing on ‘Joe Lycett: Summer Exhibitionist’ (it was on the iPlayer for ages, but isn’t now) on account of the Royal Academy rejecting my work for 30 years.
I can’t remember why I stitched ‘Prejudice’ or ‘Big Boy Pants’, except that the latter was something to do with Boris Johnson.
That’s a portrait of my green daughter from 15 years ago.
The random numbers are from a ‘maternity leave’ advent calendar I started 24 years ago, but never finished.